The Curry Experiment – Entry 1.



I recently discovered two things about Asda that had previously passed me by. Firstly, it is cheaper than Tesco by quite some margin so I went a bit mental with my purchasing of coffee and washing stuff. Secondly though, and most importantly in terms of the study that is to follow, they do a rather extensive range of chicken-based curries. Not only is this a very good thing in its own right, but it is incorporated into the first point as it costs a mere £7.00 for 2 main courses, 2 rice and 2 sides.


Having made these discoveries thanks to Chris Franks’ lack of motorised vehicular transport, I have decided to sample each of the dishes on offer and publish my findings for literally nobody to read on this ‘ere blog type thing. If nothing else, and it is nothing else, it gives me the ideal excuse to lard my arse up on curry whilst affording me the opportunity of adding content to the aforementioned yet much neglected blog. It’s worth bearing in mind that my chilli tolerance is not up to the standards of the likes of Mark or Franks, indeed I’m very much a mid-range man when it comes to spicy food, so it’s going to be rather interesting to see how I cope at the top end of the scale.


Anyway, the line-up that will either satisfy my hunger or fuck my insides up beyond medical help, in order of mildest to fuckest-uppest (thank you, Simon Pegg) is as follows:


  1. Chicken Korma (1 chilli rating)
  2. Chicken Dopiaza (2 chilli rating)
  3. Chicken Tandoori Masala (2 chilli rating)
  4. Chicken Jalfrezi (3 chilli rating)
  5. Chicken Bhuna (3 chilli rating)
  6. Chicken Madras (4 chilli rating)
  7. Scorching Hot Chicken Vindaloo (5 chilli rating)


At this juncture it is worth pointing out that a) my fridge now contains solely beer, curry and milk, and b) the experiment is already underway and the result was as follows:


6: Chicken Madras (4 chilli rating).


Holy Christ on a stick, this is tasty yet rather warm. That was a bit of an understatement actually, in truth I was sweating so much that I got a pint of milk and wrapped a towel around my head, the latter adding an authentic Indian feel to the proceedings. It’s a really pleasant dish to begin with, very tangy and with plenty of chicken that actually tastes like chicken, but the heat builds to a crescendo of dribbling that I have not experienced for some time. Well, about a fortnight actually, the curry in Akbars in town left me rather moist around the head, but that’s beside the point. The actual heating process, and this goes for all of the dishes, is a bit of a bugger as you do have to do both the main course and the rice in 2 stints each, but it’s still easier than twatting about with various spices, herbs and whatnot and cooking it myself. As far as my taste returning goes, that took roughly an hour once I’d finished. To conclude, this was a bit overly spicy for me, however those with more of a taste for the hotter dish will probably find it quite agreeable.


Further test results to follow…





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